He’s Married.

It’s been quite awhile since I last wrote. I spent two weeks with my family and during that time I didn’t sugar and I rarely talked to my POTs. So I really don’t have much to catch you all up on. It’s interesting though to look at my stats. It seems my last post had quite a few readers from all around the world. I suppose the tags and the title draw attention.

Although I haven’t sugared in some time, I’ve spent quite a lot of time alone these past two weeks to reflect and think about everything. I toss over guilt, desire, self loath, empowerment, and confusion all in a night until all the emotions seem to bundle together and wrap around me. I’ve been quite anxious and have had to resort to over the counter sleeping pills if I want to fall asleep at night. I don’t think my anxiety is related to my sugaring at all but I think my anxiety will affect my sugaring in the future if that makes sense. Anyway, you are here for a story, and I shall tell you one. This story is with another POT, only the day after with Papi.

After a night with friends, I was feeling refreshed and my guilt had faded to a numbing sting. I woke up with a text from an unknown number asking if I’d like to get lunch. He mentioned his name in the text. I couldn’t remember who he was from SA and couldn’t remember when I had given him my number so I logged on SA and scrolled till I found his name. I suddenly remembered why I had given him my number, he was all cash money talk. I actually used his initial message in a previous post. Here is what he sent me:

You’re very beautiful. My budget is $1500 – $3000 per month. I am willing to do a monthly budget. Meeting once a week.
If you prefer a per meeting scenario – $400 – $500 to begin.
First meeting for coffee / lunch/ drinks/ dinner $100 – and I pay obviously for our food & drinks.
I am messaging you because I think you are attractive, I would prefer to meet soon.
I am not a waste of time, and will do what I say.

I don’t show my face in the private photo, it is so you know I am not overweight. Because of my profile in the business community I prefer to send my face photo via text.

I was cash hungry and I figured even if I didn’t like him, I’d least get $100 bucks for lunch. So we agreed to meet at a popular upscale restaurant around noon. As I was getting ready, I reread our many conversations on SA. They were all mundane, just casual chat about this and that and what we were looking for. I realized I hadn’t even looked at his profile so I clicked on it. There is was… under Relationship Status…. Married but Looking.  I stopped. I picked up my phone to cancel the date but I didn’t. I tried not to think about it but I imagined his wife. I wonder what she thought he was doing on this afternoon. She probably didn’t think being a Sugar Daddy. I told myself I would take the $100 from the date but not pursue it further.

Walking up to the restaurant for a first date will always be the worst part of the experience for me. I still get nearly sick from nerves. He, lets call him Mr. Fox, gave me the impression he was already inside. However, that was not the case. I walked in and upon realizing he was not there, told the hostess I was waiting from someone and then I sat on a near couch. I fiddled with my fingers for a good five minutes until Mr. Fox walked in. He was handsome. Very tall and in a business suit. He seemed late 40s with his black hair but with a slight silver hint to it. I stood up and gave him a handshake. He looked at me, didn’t smile, and gave what I believe was a sigh of almost disgust. I may be over analyzing the situation but within the first 5 seconds I felt as if he didn’t like me at all. Not one bit. We sat down at the table and Mr. Fox who still hasn’t said a SINGLE word to me, pulls out his phone and begins texting. I sit there waiting for him to say something like, “Yeah I just got an important message from work, I got to go” or some lame excuse to leave the date. I felt self conscious, offended that he didn’t like me, but I shoved those feelings down and sat straight up and stared at him confidently, patiently waiting for him to say or do something.  Neither me nor him said anything and it was the waiter to come break the looming silence. Mr. Fox, not looking up from his phone, orders a white wine. I get a water with lemon. The waiter leaves us with the menu. I’m starting to get angry. I feel my face get hot and I contemplate just walking out. Then suddenly he stops texting, looks at me, and says “So tell me about yourself. Why do you even want this?” He looks miserable, as if I was some child he was babysitting. I launch into my usual pitch; how I was physically and emotionally attracted to older men and how with college, my income was a bit dry. I made sure to mention that I was NOT desperate for money, but instead I viewed it as an added bonus. I don’t think he was pleased with my answer. He didn’t comment on anything relevant to my answer and instead asked me about school. After I told him I had recently graduated, he mentioned that he just returned from his son’s college graduation in New Orleans from Tulane. I was surprised when he picked up his phone and open his photos to show me dozens of pictures of the recent trip. Family photos. With his wife. His beautiful sophisticated looking wife. And his daughter. Who looked like Gigi Hadid with her beautiful blonde hair and Louis Vuitton bag. Looking at his photos I thought I understood his dislike towards me. His wife and daughter were absolutely stunning in their looks and fashion. Heels, dresses, full makeup. Maybe he thought I was sloppy with my skirt, top, and sandals. Maybe he had this expectation to beauty with the women he wanted and I just didn’t match that. I’ve told you all that I view myself as a plain Jane so this conclusion only seemed logical to me.

When the waiter came I ordered a salad and he got a plain chicken breast with a side of asparagus. After the waiter left, I mustered the courage to ask him how he found himself on SA. His story was unusual. When his son decided to attend Tulane for college, Mr. Fox decided to research all about the school. He came across an article talking about Tulane girls and SA, and how the school was quickly gaining many sugar babies. It prompted him to make a profile. Mr. Fox was picky. He only had one arrangement before, and it was not a relationship. They met up once a week or less depending on their schedules at a hotel room. They would usually get dinner and drinks and then go back to the hotel for a few hours. It was all about sex to Mr. Fox (although he didn’t mention the word) but I could tell he was the type of man that if you ever accused him of getting a prostitute he would sincerely be offended. What I found more interesting is that Mr. Fox proceeded to tell me that he often had first dates with girls only to find out they were in some sort of financial trouble and sugaring was their solution; and he would help them with nothing in return. He specifically talked about one girl who had some debt from college. After one date with Mr. Fox, he liked her so much he agreed to pay off her debt little by little. He did not want to have an arrangement with her. He told me he could never be attracted to someone who felt like they needed to hang out with him only to get out of financial trouble (ummm hello then stop being a Sugar Daddy cause 90% of the girls are like that). Anyway, he thought this girl was brilliant and after she graduated he called an old friend and got her a good job in a firm in California. So I couldn’t really get a read on Mr. Fox and the type of girl he was looking for. It seemed to me he wanted someone that wasn’t in it for the money, but only wanted to do once a week meetups, but also accepted his money…? I also found it perplexing that his initial message to me was all money talk. He also mentioned how he went on one first date and the girl was flirty and touchy and he told her he found her behavior extremely inappropriate and he left the date. Yikes.

Over the course of the meal, Mr. Fox started warming up to me. I’d like to think I charmed him with my witty personality but who knows why. He even laughed a little as I talked about my Salt Daddy experience with Stars. It didn’t bother me anymore that I thought he might think I was unattractive or maybe better looking in my pictures. I didn’t catfish him. Those photos on my SA account are completely unedited and don’t even have a filter for crying out loud. Instead, I was focused on just finishing my lunch and having a decent conversation with him. Because he was married I didn’t want to pursue this, so I thought it to actually be a good thing if he felt the same way. And right when things were going well, he cuts me off in the middle of my story about why Tulane was actually MY dream school, to ask me “So what’s your reason? You’re a smart girl, I can tell that. I know you’re sugaring because you’re in trouble with money. Tell me.”  Ha.Ha.Ha. So Mr. Fox thought I was only sugaring for the money. I guess he took my whole “physically and emotionally attracted to older men” as complete bullshit (which it’s not, but he was right in the sense I went on this date in the first place for the 100 bucks). But I decided to play along. I could tell Mr. Fox liked to be right and in control and I was going to grant him that simply because it was easier (and his story about not having sex with that one girl and paying off her debt intrigued me…) I launched into my story about being 3 grand in debt with my old sorority and how it ruined my credit score (all is true). He listened and asked many questions about the collection agency, interest fees, etc. The entire conversation flipped and even after the waiter cleared our plates we sat and worked out my problem. He didn’t mention about “paying off” my debt but he was genuinely trying to help me fix my problem. He gave me great advise about downloading an app where I could record my phone calls with the debt collectors and sorority headquarters. I pulled up the old emails and we calculated how much fees were added on. He completely agreed that I had been ripped off and that the sorority only billed me after I had quit. He told me I needed to call the collection agency again (and this time record it) and he had me write down a list of about 10 very specific questions he wanted me to ask them. It was so helpful. It wasn’t a date anymore. I knew he was helping me not because he wanted to sleep with me but because he cared. And as shitty as Mr. Fox is for cheating on his wife and for treating me like shit for the first 15 minutes of our date; I concluded that he was a good man.

When we finally wrapped up, he walked me to my car. He pulled out his wallet and handed me a crisp $100 dollar bill. I thanked him, and thanked him again for the financial advice and shook his hand. Then suddenly, Mr. Fox’s poised confidence flickered and he awkwardly asked  “Well can I give you a hug? It was truly nice to meet you and talk to you.” I laughed and said of course and we hugged goodbye. It wasn’t romantic but it was genuine.

Since my meeting with Mr. Fox, he hasn’t texted me asking for a 2nd date or an arrangement (which I figured he wouldn’t) but he has followed up upon my financial situation. I did call the agency again and followed his instructions and asked all the detailed questions. And this time the agency approved my request for an Official Dispute of my debt which is great news! I might not even have to owe it anymore and they can take it off my credit which would be fabulous. So as cheesy as this sounds, Mr. Fox gave me something better than money. He gave me knowledge, skills, and advice to fix my problem rather than giving me a handout to solve it. And I actually appreciate that. I can admit that I’m young and dumb and yes it would be amazing to have someone say “Oh $3000? That’s nothing sweetie. I’ll take care of that for you.” But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t learn anything and if I ever find myself in a situation like this again I wouldn’t know what to do. But because of Mr. Fox, I understand specific strategies and solutions. It’s like having someone teach you how to change a flat tire. Yes it would be nice to sit in the car while he changes it for you, but it’s more beneficial if you sit and learn how to do it as well. So yeah, Thank you Mr. Fox. Did this change my whole perspective on sugaring? No, it didn’t. I’m not sugaring to solely get out of debt as Mr. Fox believes. Even if I was debt free, I’d still do it. It’s company I enjoy and the money is as I mentioned, a nice bonus.

Well that’s my surprisingly positive story about an initial really shitty date with a married man. Some things turn around in the most interesting ways I suppose.

xoxo

Daddy Wants His Naughty Little Girl

Oh goodness. This post is an interesting one. Up until this point, my sugaring timeline was very innocent and even my salt daddy experience wasn’t even that weird. But there is another side to sugaring and that’s the intimacy. From what I’ve learned, SD’s and SB’s really don’t discuss the intimacy part at all. I think both parties want to pretend that when it does happen, it happens naturally, and not because it was expected (even if both know it really is). The SD wants to feel like he slept with her because she likes him and there’s a true connection. If he wanted a hooker, he could of got one and it would be a lot cheaper too. A SB is a long term commitment that is more expensive and is much more of a relationship. I’ve read blogs where some girls spent nearly a year with their SD before ever doing anything sexual with them. I think a lot of the men, for example like Mr. Boring, are really just lonely and want someone who adores them and listens to them. It’s a perfectly normal human desire in my opinion; to be wanted.

I’ll admit that I am physically attracted to older men. I think it would be pretty messed up if I decided to sugar if the idea of ever being with an older man completely repulsed me. I don’t know when I realized I like older guys, but there’s something exciting and thrilling about it to me. Also, college guys get on my nerves VERY quickly with their lack of maturity. I dated a boy my age for 3 years in college and the biggest issue I had with him was his lack of maturity and responsibility. Maybe that made older men to me even that much more attractive. I read a report somewhere that 70% of sugar babies admitted to having “daddy issues.” I think that statistic is a load of bull shit in my opinion. I have a great relationship with my father and my attraction to older men has nothing to do with my father at all.

So one of my POTs is not like any other. I think the first message he ever sent me on SA’s clearly shows what I am talking about:

Hi! You can call me daddy 😉 looking for the girl next door with a naughty side. How ​are you?

I know, I know. Out of all the messages, the nice POTs, why did I respond to this creepy guy? I guess I was curious. A long time ago, one of my good friends said to me, “There’s something about when something is so taboo, it makes it so good.” Maybe I had that in mind when I messaged him back. Me and (let’s call him Papi) chatted quite a bit on SA’s before he ever gave me his number. Papi was in his early 40s, blonde (but going bald), and had a total dad bod. He was actually really freaking nice but in a very flirty way. When I mentioned I just graduated he would text back “What a smart girl! Daddy wants to take you to the mall and let you pick out anything you want for your graduation gift!” When I told him I rescued a dog from the pound he said, “You’re such a little sweetie. Maybe you and Daddy can go to Pets Mart one day and you can pick out all the toys, beds, and treats that you want, and then we can go let you donate them all to the pound.” Papi wasn’t pushy either. He didn’t request additional photos, didn’t mind if I took forever to text, and NEVER suggested meeting up in person seriously (besides the “Daddy will take you shopping” comments). He was my ONLY POT that I had to be the one to ask him if he’d like to meet. He said yes and we picked out a day to have lunch. He suggested Tempe, which was closer to me, and he named a very popular restaurant that I had been to tons of times before. We also agreed to meet early in the day, at noon.

Before I tell you about our date, let me say that Papi told me that he had a SB before. He said he really liked her at first but she was too transactional for his taste and after a couple months, he ended it. What he meant by this was “she was all sex and no relationship.” He wanted to spoil her, take her places, dinners, gifts, vacations… she wanted only cash and immediately after they did it. She would go home right after and only reply to his messages when she was ready to do it again. Like I mentioned earlier, Papi wanted to be wanted….

I arrived to the restaurant and sat in my car. I was nervous. I practiced saying, “hi daddy” and “thank you daddy” out loud. It sounded weird. I obviously wasn’t going to call him daddy at the restaurant even if people did think we were actually father daughter, but I just wanted to see what it sounded like. He texted me saying he was waiting at the bar. I walked in and guess what I see? A GIRL FROM MY OLD SORORITY. Oh dear God, I knew this day would happen. I would run into someone I knew while sugaring. She saw me too and immediately jumped up and hugged me. I pretended to be excited too even though I was dying inside. I could see Papi staring at us from the bar. He knew it was me because I told him what I was wearing. He didn’t move. She asked me if I was alone. “No no, I’m actually meeting with a mentor from school to talk about my resume, jobs, and stuff.” I said. It was the first thing that came to mind and she didn’t even question it. She just said that’s so nice that I had a mentor like that, and then she hugged me and went back to her table with friends. I was pretty proud of myself to be honest. I confidently walked up to Papi and we hugged. He immediately apologized saying that he should of thought better than to pick a restaurant so close to me. I told him not to worry, and that I told her that he was my mentor. He laughed and said he liked that title. “Oh I’ll mentor you sweetie.” Suddenly, my confidence dropped and I couldn’t look him in the eye.

During the date I had some mimosas probably like 5 or 6. It was the most I drank ever during a POT date but I needed confidence. He had two Bloody Mary’s and we split a spinach artichoke dip. One day I’m going to write all about the food I’ve had during sugar dates hehe, it’s one of the best parts 😉 Maybe it was the mimosas in me but it was so easy to flirt with this man. There was never a dull moment in our conversation. He complimented me on either my looks, my intelligence, or my personality every few minutes. And he sounded genuine. I’ll admit, it made me feel really freaking good. He would say things like “Wow, how did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful and smart girl meet me.” He was extremely humble and a little dorky. He told me he used to play baseball in College and even got drafted to play for the Mariners in Seattle, he showed me all these pictures on his phone of him playing. He got injured and quit baseball and now holds a high level corporate job. When I mentioned I used to ride horses, he lit up. He grew up on a Thoroughbred breeding farm in Kentucky. He told me stories of his childhood watching the horses run. I honestly had so much fun talking to him. We both were obsessed with our dogs and showed each other numerous pictures. He owned an adorable black lab named Athos (after one of the 3 musketeers)  Two of his close friends also each adopted another puppy from the same litter and named them after the other two musketeers. So stinkin cute.

Papi told me his friend introduced him to SA. He knew a couple other men on the site and sometimes they would have double dates and stuff. He made it sound completely normal and put me to ease. I didn’t even flinch when he put his hand on my thigh while talking sometimes. I wasn’t aware of anyone else staring. After about 2 hours, Papi said that he didn’t want to keep me long if I needed to go. He paid the bill and we stood up. Before he had time to say anything, I said “Actually, I’m in no rush. I have absolutely nothing to do today until dinner with my friends at 7 pm” (it was actually another POT date). It was only 2pm. He looked surprised. I surprised myself. Here, Papi was being all SD etiquette like, and my hoe ass hints that I want to hang out longer with him. But I did, I was having fun with him and I didn’t want it to end… He smiled and said “Well if you’d like we could go shopping for your graduation gift…. or you can come meet Athos.” I could tell he was very careful with his words. He didn’t want to spook me and I thought that was so kind. I could be sitting here typing on my new mac book pro laptop but instead I said I wanted to meet Athos. I knew exactly what I was doing. I pushed down the “what the hell are you thinking girl” thoughts. He was exciting to me and shopping seemed boring compared to going to his house.

He gave me his address and told me to meet him there. We drove separately and he beat me to it and was waiting in his driveway. It was a nice house, one story, but he was a single guy so it made sense to me. I walked in the living room with him to be greeted by Athos, who was just as sweet as Papi described. Papi again complimented me saying that he thought I was absolutely adorable and that Athos agreed. I was feeling myself and I went for it, I said “Thanks daddy.” And that was it. I stood up from petting Athos, and Papi gently cupped my face and kissed me. “You’re such a good little girl for daddy” He said. Oh man was that hot. He gave me the tour to his house all the while Athos followed, happily wagging his tail. He showed me photos of his family’s beautiful horses draped in roses after winning a race. He was in every photo with them, a cute little blonde child, proudly standing between his mother and father and the horse at the winner’s circle. He showed me his Mariner’s jersey which he had framed in his office, his collection of antique novels, and framed photos of Athos and the other Musketeers with their owners. He showed me his bedroom where he kissed me again, this time a little longer. And then we were back to his living room. We sat on the couch together and he said “Do you prefer Venmo or Paypal? I wanted to give you money after our date but when I suggested you come here, I didn’t want you to think I was bribing you.” Woah. This felt weird. I forgot about the whole money thing, where as with Mr. Boring, that’s all I could think about. I told him either works. A second later my phone binged and I looked to see $100 deposited into my Paypal with a note that said “From Mentor to Mentee ;)”. I told him thank you and I kissed him. He smiled and said he was going to take care of me. “Daddy will pay off your debt and spoil you with whatever you want sweetie.” We started making out. After a few minutes he looked at me almost like he was about to scold me, “Now we aren’t going to have sex today sweetie. Daddy wants to take it slow with his little girl. Don’t be naughty.” Oh my god, he thought I was trying to sleep with him. Was I? Or was this code in the whole daddy daughter role play that he wanted me to be naughty? I didn’t know. I pouted my lips and said “OK daddy.” He smiled and kissed me again, hard this time. Things escalated and soon my top, shorts, and bra were off. I was only in my underwear. He asked me to stand up. He sat on the couch and just admired every inch of me, having me turn around so he could dote over every part of my body. He made me feel so sexy. Any guy reading this, if you stop mid hookup to admire your girl, God damn is this hot. I never had a college guy treat me such like a princess- I really felt beautiful. College guys never want to take it slow, especially when they have a girl in just her underwear. I went down on him and the entire time he was saying some really kinky ass shit (but it was hot as hell). Afterwards, he praised me again and we kind of cuddled on the couch. My underwear never came off and he really stood by his word about not having sex. After a few minutes, I told him I should go get ready for dinner. He told me that our next date would be dinner and shopping and we could go to Pets Mart too if I wanted.

I left his home still feeling so much adrenaline. When the adrenaline washed off, the rush of guilt came. It hit me hard. It reminded me of period cramps, where one moment I felt fine and then suddenly it would hit me… It felt physical. Papi texted me telling me he had an amazing time and he hoped I had a nice evening with friends. He was a nice man, everything that had happened was because I chose it. I didn’t feel angry at him or disgusted with him. I texted the other POT that I was supposed to have dinner with, canceling on him. He said he understood and to text him if I changed my mind.

That night I hung out with friends instead. It made me feel so much better. I felt normal again to just laugh with them. They didn’t know about my sugaring so I got to escape the guilt for the night. It was this night I asked my friend about handling guilt, and he gave me the advice that inspired this blog. I’m still not caught up on my timeline because I went on more dates as the first few posts were written. The guilt with Papi mostly faded and I found myself fantasizing over him soon. Every now and then I still get a flash of guilt, but I still text him. I was actually supposed to meet him again today for shopping but I forgot I had to attend a high school graduation so I had to cancel.

Well, there it is. Probably my craziest experience yet, even though I still have some more interesting stories for y’all and I’m sure more will come (especially with Papi) Talk soon.

xoxo

Sugar Pup vs The Experienced Sugar Daddy

Good morning! My friend from high school is coming into town tomorrow to visit so I really want to write a lot today. I realized that in all my posts, I never mentioned an important thing… I was and still am NOT interested in sugaring with married guys. I actually put a note in my SA’s profile that stated:

Please note, if you are married- I will not respond. I don’t condone cheating in any way even if its just a date. 🙂

Obviously, married guys still messaged me and I’m sure married guys lie and say they’re not married but up to this point in my timeline I believed all my POT’s were unmarried or divorced. This is irrelevant to this particular post, but I wanted to mention it anyway.

So after having my first Salt Daddy meetup (see previous post) I was eagerly waiting for OG to text me about planning our 2nd date. I figured he would be back in Aspen right now but he wasn’t responding to my text and I’m not one to triple text someone. I didn’t want to come off as desperate… However, one of my other long time POT’s was available to meet for lunch. I started actually texting him around the same time as OG, so I felt comfortable in meeting him. Let’s call him Mr. Boring… I feel bad for naming him this but I thought of it the other day and it just stuck. Mr. Boring was the oldest of my POTs, I wasn’t positive on his age but I was estimating him to be around late 50s or early 60s. I think he told me 59 but I’m not positive. Mr. Boring almost called it quits with me because we had been talking so long but our schedules never worked out to meet. I’ll be honest, nothing about Mr. Boring’s personality stood out to me (hence the name). He was very straight to the point in what he was looking for and honestly it was the simplicity and financial talk that kept me texting him. His original message to me on SA’s was this:

Afternoon to you…. Enjoyed reading your profile and it seems we would have more than a few things in common from the outset. I am looking for a very authentic and sincere young woman that is focused on her long term success and education and is willing to do what it takes to be a successful citizen, give back to society and take responsibility for their own success. I am very able and willing to help a very unique and special young woman with their entire living costs, school costs or whatever it takes to become successful long term if we have a high quality authentic relationship on a regular basis. No games. If you have the confidence to make this happen let me know and I would like to dialogue further with you to see what our compatibility would be together and what makes you a unique young woman. You would have to enjoy being with a very strong, driven, alpha male type of man! Let me know.

Mr. Boring wasn’t a big texter either and we talked on the phone a few days before meeting. He was an experienced SD, having 3 prior arrangements before. All lasting multiple years before the girls either moved away for careers or decided to pursue relationships with men their own age. He supported them through their entire school and living costs and he was very clear he would do so with me. His expectations? Two weekends a month. Once we went on a couple dates, we would have a trial “weekend” together in his house in Scottsdale where he would plan the activities, which he said would probably be: going to nice restaurants, going to a play or symphony, observatory, and shopping. I would also spend the night with him in his home and I wasn’t dumb to understand what this meant either. But he wasn’t looking to rush into anything, and he was very clear that he wanted to take it slow and go on a couple dates before we agreed to a weekend. We decided to meet for lunch and he picked out the restaurant, a fancy one in Scottsdale that I’ve never been to before. I was hungry and looked at the menu online before heading out.

Mr. Boring was there at a table waiting for me, dressed in nice slacks and a button down. He looked very professional, but old… I dressed up a little too with a fancier blouse and slacks. We shook hands and I sat down. I can’t even remember our whole conversation because it wasn’t that interesting. We talked about his job, which was a Medical Consultant for Pathology (diagnosis), and he was a M.D obviously. He was divorced for nearly 15 years and has been a SD since. He only has one relationship at a time (he expected me to do the same) and he assured me his prior SB’s all have successful lives now due to him supporting them through their education. He says they all still call him every now and then for advise and such. He was very proud of his SD experience and wasn’t shy to tell me that he even bought one of them a car, paid for four years tuition, rent, and gave them a hefty budget on food and clothes. He never mentioned an exact dollar sign though. He asked me how much I pay for rent and I told him $800, and he said he was surprised it was so low. I immediately regretted telling him (even though $800 is expensive to me) but I quickly added, “but with utilities, car payments, debt, etc- it’s more”…. He said of course and that if we agreed to an arrangement later on, we would work out a monthly allowance based on my financial needs. He ordered a margarita and I stuck to water. We shared a hummus garlic vegetable platter to eat. He was very curious to my future plans and I told him I was in limbo between moving to Portland or staying for graduate school. He said if I moved to Portland it wouldn’t be an issue, because he has a home in Seattle so he’s up that way all the time. He also mentioned after the trial “weekend” the majority of our two weekends a month together would be visiting different cities. He enjoyed traveling and we would leave Friday after work or class and stay Friday and Saturday night and come back Sunday. He asked which cities I’ve wanted to visit and I mentioned I loved New Orleans. He agreed and then talked about a luxurious weekend get away in the French Quarter that we could have.

So, Mr. Boring wasn’t bad, but in the back of my mind, I knew the only reason I wanted to continue was because of the money. He kept asking me if I had any questions for him, and I honestly didn’t (or at least that I didn’t want to ask him then). It seemed to annoy him that I didn’t have any questions but he laid out everything from how our arrangement would work, what he enjoyed doing, his life and career story, etc. I obviously was curious about when and how much money I could get and obviously I was curious about the intimacy… But both were inappropriate to ask at the time. We shook hands and said goodbye. He was leaving for a business trip to Seattle so we planned on dinner the following week.

I left lunch a little deflated. OG really set the bar high and I wish he texted me back. I felt a little bratty but I was annoyed that Mr. Boring didn’t give me any money for our date like OG did. A lot of the forums suggested that giving money on the first date was the norm, and if Mr. Boring was all big money talk like he mentioned, shouldn’t he have given me some money to let me know he was serious? I didn’t want to be taken advantage of financially because I was a sugar pup. I decided that once we worked out the budget I would tell him another POT offered me a grand a week so that’s what I expected. It felt dirty and wrong to negotiate. The poor man seemed like he just wanted company to dinners and such and here I was so consumed with the allowance amount. At least I had a week before I saw him again and it gave me more time to think.

Hope you all enjoyed the story with Mr. Boring! My next post is by far my most crazy and I’m a little scared to write about it but that means I probably need to get it off my chest.

xoxo

Why Anyone Who is Interested in Astrology Signs Will Now Turn Me Off: My First Salt Daddy Experience.

Hello hello. I need to either reduce my sugaring or start writing more so I can catch up on the present. I’ll try to write 2 to 3 posts a day until I’m caught up. I checked out my stats and it looks like I finally have some readers which is cool. 🙂 Welcome! For anyone new, I’m writing a series of posts of my Sugar Baby timeline rather than unique blog posts. Once I’m caught up on my timeline I’ll probably do some different style of posts like “What I’ve Learned” or “Do’s and Don’ts of Sugaring”… etc.

Any hoo, It had been about a week since I met OG. I actually went home to Ohio to visit family, all the while texting various POTS. OG and I chatted a little bit, mostly just about his trip and my trip etc. I was back in Arizona and I decided I would go on a few more dates before OG returned. Maybe I would meet someone better, who knew? I’m not going to write about all the different POTs I was chatting to, I’ll only write about the ones I met in person. I was seriously chatting with about 4 guys, ages ranging from 35-65. I was bored at my apartment and none of my POTs could meet that day. I logged back onto SA, my first time in about 8 days. There were a significant amount of new messages. I clicked on the most recent, which was sent about an hour earlier. Let’s call this POT, “Stars”….

Hello,
It appears to me that we have similar desires. I would like to discuss a possible arrangement with you if you are also interested. 

He was young. 30. And he was attractive. He was on the beach in his profile picture, he had abs, a nice smile, and attractive features. If I met this guy in real life, I would probably talk to him without an arrangement… His profile talked about adventure, connection, and taking it slow. I shot him a message back saying “hi”. Two seconds later he responded with his phone number. “Text me”  Looking back, this is a red flag. I think people should chat a bit on the site before offering up their numbers, but like I mentioned, I was bored and wanted to see someone that day, so I texted him. He immediately responded asking me what I was doing in an hour. It was too easy. We planned to meet at a bar in Old Town. It was early, only around 1 pm.

When I got to the bar (early again), he was already there, waiting at a table. The bar was blasting music and people were drunk for Sunday Funday. It seemed almost like a club, and again I felt too casually dressed in shorts and a blouse. He was cuter in person though and I felt a rush of relief when he greeted me warmly and politely. The waitress came over and I ordered a Gin & Tonic and he ordered a Moscow Mule. I realized I knew nothing about him and how this was so different compared to OG’s meeting. This just felt like a blind date. I wasn’t self conscious about people around me looking at us because he looked young, in his 20s. Where as with OG, people probably thought I was with my dad or uncle of some sort.

Stars was a talker. I sipped on my drink as he began his entire life story, not missing any details. He was a chiropractor (immediately a good sign because I love when people crack my back haha) and he owned his own practice which he sold just last year to pursue writing his autobiography full time… OK a little weird for a 31 year old, I thought, but hey- he had already accomplished so much, who was I to judge? He hired an editor that he regularly sent drafts to. He described about having a life awakening that made him want to sell his practice and share his knowledge. He mentioned how he would love to be a professional mentor to me and help me achieve any goals. He listed off several books that he had me write down that I should read. He asked me about my long term goals, where I saw myself in 10 / 20 years, what are my struggles, etc. It was like a professional interview and not a date. But I thought he was nice. He obviously was a passionate guy and really valued his life.

Every time the waitress came, he ordered another Moscow Mule. I stopped drinking after 3 gin and tonics and started drinking water. He then ordered shots of Patron…. I didn’t partake. With the liquid encouragement, his real colors started to shine. When I mentioned I had debt, he laughed and told me he was over 100k in student debt… weird. He then told me he didn’t live in Arizona even though his SA profile said he did. He was just visiting for the week but actually lived in Texas… That annoyed me, why didn’t he tell me that before? I wish I had asked him questions before meeting him. He then proceeded to tell me that a year in a half ago, he went to a casino and won a $300,000 jackpot. He showed me pictures and videos of that day and him holding an enormous sized check. That was the “life awakening” he mentioned earlier… He sold his practice a month later and moved back home with his parents. So basically Stars comes into a lot of money: quits his job, moves home to reduce expenses, starts writing this book, and spends a week every now and then to various cities to party and continue writing. He wasn’t making any new income so basically he was partying his way through his old earnings and winnings. Scottsdale was just another “week trip writing get a way”. He never mentioned an arrangement and I suddenly realized that he wasn’t looking for a real long term one…

I was hinting about me having to leave, lying about dinner plans with a friend. This didn’t phase him. He then proceeded to go on a tirade about his astrological sign. He was a Cancer but he channeled Aries or something. He described all about his energy of the stars etc. I couldn’t believe that someone educated enough to be a chiropractor really bought into all that stuff. Sorry, I’m not a big believer in star signs. Of course he wanted to know mine, and more so, he wanted to know the time, location, and weather of my birth. HA! He pulled out a freakin app on his phone and proceeded to tell me all about myself, my future, and of course my love life. He said “You are horny all the time.” WTF?! I actually just laughed, I had no words. He smiled and got closer, “I am a very sexual human and I can teach you to empower your sexual energy. Would you like to go back to my hotel”? NOPE NOPE FUCK OFF. I’m sure my face was disgusted, but I politely told him no and it was time for me to leave. I was getting up when the waitress came up and handed him the bill. $170 dollars. Those club prices for drinks really added up. I thanked him for the drinks and told him I would text him later. Walking to my car, I literally turned around 3 times to make sure he wasn’t following me, but he stayed in the club at the table… probably to tell another poor girl that she radiated sexual energy or something.

Yeah, so Stars texted me asking if I wanted to hang out after my “dinner” and I politely told him no thank you and he never texted me again, thankfully. I learned my lesson with him. A pretty face and especially younger men on SA usually just want a hooker type arrangement. I promised myself I wouldn’t do anymore “day of” meets. I needed to get to know them and understand exactly what they were looking for before. Lesson learned.

Hope you enjoyed this post! It’s actually comical looking back on it and I can’t believe I’ve learned so much in such a short time and a mistake like this is a #TotalSugarPup move. However, I wouldn’t say this is my most “interesting” POT meetup. That’s for another post. 😉

xoxo

First Date

I had been on seekingarrangements.com (SA) for a couple days and I was itching to go on a first meeting. My roommate, Tiff, was flying to her home state that next morning, and I wanted to go on a date before she left, so I would have someone to call if anything went south. I had been chatting with this guy, lets call him OG (since he was my Orginal Gangsta POT lol). He had first messaged me on SA’s with this message:

Hello,
How has your week been?
I enjoyed your profile. Would the occasional afternoon by the pool, steady financial help, some movie nights, daytime adventures, intimacy (if we decide to go there), Some trips to Colorado (if you like to travel), nice dinners and a discrete long-term friendship work for you? I take care of you and you take care of me.
Let me know if you’re interested…

I liked OG because he was polite, engaging, and honestly, straight to the point. He wasn’t super attractive in his photos, but he was in good shape and had a clean cut appearance. He wasn’t a big texter so if I didn’t reply for a few hours or even a day, he wouldn’t send me annoying “hello you still there?!” texts. He was the only POT that wanted to have a phone conversation before asking me to meet him. I told him when I was free to chat and I sat there staring at my phone, anxiously waiting for it to ring. I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up. But, when it did ring (right on time), and I said “hi” with my voice all shaky, he didn’t seem weird or scary. He honestly sounded like Matthew Mcconaughey…. He asked me how my day was, what were my plans that evening, and just simple small talk. It was easy to talk to him. The conversation was intelligent and engaging, and I found myself telling him all about my plans for grad school or potentially moving to Portland. We talked for about half an hour before he asked me, “So how did you end up on this site?” I wanted to be honest with him. I told him about my friend, how I was always physically and emotionally attracted to older men (no I don’t have daddy issues) and how I wasn’t broke but I did have debt etc. He was understanding and nice. I then asked him the same question.

OG’s story went like this: 8 years ago he got divorced. For four years, he remained single and focused on his work. His main residence and home is in Aspen Colorado, but he had purchased a home in Scottsdale Arizona so he has a place to escape and play golf during the winter. He was self employed in real estate, and doing extremely well for himself. He goes back and forth to his home in Aspen and his home in Scottsdale for both work and leisure. Anyway, four years ago, he met up with a golfing buddy for lunch in Scottsdale. His friend brought a young girl with them, she was about 21 (he was 47 at the time). Anyway, his friend had to take a business call during the lunch which ended up lasting over a half hour, and OG and the girl completely hit it off while his friend was gone. They had a lot in common etc. Anyway, a few weeks later, she found OG on Facebook and sent him a message about wanting to see him again. Apparently, her and OG’s friend never really continued dating and just didn’t click (no drama according to OG). So OG and the girl started going on dates and ended up having a completely normal relationship for the year (normal besides the age difference of course). It was NOT an arrangement. He obviously paid for dates and such, but he never gave her money or supported her financially. Fast forward to the summer, and OG was itching to go back home to Aspen and escape the heat but he didn’t want to leave his girlfriend behind. She couldn’t come with him because she was working as a waitress all summer to pay for school. So OG told her that if she spent the summer with him in Aspen, he would double whatever she estimated to make for the summer. So she obviously accepted and they had a wonderful summer in Colorado skiing, hiking, etc. When they both returned to AZ in the fall, OG continued to discreetly help her financially. He told me she was always a little embarrassed by it, so he would usually slip an envelope of a $1000 into her purse every week. Their relationship lasted 2 years until she moved away to New York for work. OG tried dating women his own age after that but he found that he enjoyed the energy and company of younger women. He discovered SA over the past year and made a profile. He had one arrangement for 6 months that had just ended mutually. He took a few months off from dating, and then reactivated his profile. He said he saw my profile and said he thought I sounded intelligent and down to earth.

Not creepy, huh? His story was so genuine to me. I really liked how he sorta stumbled into being a SD from a normal relationship rather than pursing it. Before our conversation ended, he told that if we agreed upon an arrangement he would start off with an allowance of $1000 a week (which would increase as our relationship grew). He also mentioned he wasn’t just an allowance guy. He said for example, “if your phone or laptop breaks, I’ll get you a new one. You mention how you always wanted to see such and such play, don’t be surprised to have front row tickets mailed to you the next day. He then quickly added, “however, don’t expect to see the 1000 bucks the first few days we meet, I’ve had too many girls take the money and I never see them again. I need to trust you and know that you’re genuine.” Rather than being turned off by this statement, I actually felt bad for him. He seemed like a really nice guy and I imagined him liking all these girls only to get ripped off after a couple dinner dates. We agreed to meet the next day at 4pm at a restaurant in Old Town for a couple drinks.

Before our date the next day, I made sure Tiff had my location, and I told her if I wasn’t home by 7pm, she needed to worry. I told her even if I texted her something like “I’m staying out late” not to believe me. Yes, this might be a bit paranoid, but it was my first time meeting someone online, and I wanted to be careful. I had been to the restaurant once before so I was comforted in knowing that is was an extremely popular place and we were meeting during the day. I thought I was nervous to talk to OG on the phone, but meeting him in person? I was shaking the whole drive there. I probably contemplated turning around 12 times. I got there early on purpose. I wanted to be in control of where we sat. I chose a table on the patio. I ordered a beer while I waited. Looking back, this is definitely not SB etiquette. I was probably a bit too casual with my denim shorts, tank top, and flip flops… and ordering a beer before he got there was probably a bit too bold. But I was so nervous inside and I wan’t to give the appearance of confidence. I heard a familiar “hello” from behind me. He caught be off guard by entering through the back entrance. I quickly stood up, smiled, and gave him an awkward hug right as he was going in for a proper handshake… I cringe thinking about it lol. Anyway, he sat down and called over the waitress. He ordered a beer too, a fancy one though, compared to mine. I told him I loved to drink beer. He glanced at me and said “that nice. As long as you work out regularly, it shouldn’t be a problem.” WHAT AN ASS HAT. WAS HE IMPLYING THAT I WAS FAT? OR THAT I CAN”T DRINK BEER UNLESS I WORK OUT? I didn’t say anything back. I thought the date would go down south from there but it honestly didn’t. Besides the rude(ish?) comment about me and beer, our conversation was as natural and engaging as our phone call. He made me laugh as he told me funny stories about being cat fished from SA. His first date ever he thought he was meeting a 22 year old blond girl only to be greeted by a 50 something overweight biker chick. He said he still had a couple drinks with her to be polite, but after that, he tried to be more careful. He asked if I would be interested in ever going to Aspen with him on the weekends once we got to know each other more. I told him yes, and I could see that this answer really pleased him. I mentioned I loved traveling and he said we could do trips to NYC, Chicago, and Hawaii if I wanted. Suddenly, the beer comment seemed insignificant. Maybe I just over reacted? He ordered another beer and asked if I’d like another. I said no, too embarrassed to get another one. I didn’t like how this 51 year old man was making me feel insecure about my looks, and I had some thoughts about the whole power structure that rests in a SD SB relationship. I already felt like I needed to please him and win his approval, and it was only our first date. He was so calm and confident. I felt insignificant compared to all his success in life. I reminded myself that I held a sort of power too. My youth was a novelty and he couldn’t attain this realtionship normally… if he was serious, he would be obliged to pay for my companionship. After an hour and a half, he got the check and we wrapped up our conversation. When he pulled out his wallet to get his card he also pulled out a $50 dollar bill and handed it to me. “Gas money for this date,” he said. He knew I only lived 10 minutes away. I awkwardly took it, fighting off the urge to say “no thanks” to the generous offer. He looked at me and said, “So what do you think? Would you like to see me again?” I was surprised by his boldness in asking me this right then and there, and honestly, I was happy that he liked me enough to ask me out again… I said yes and we agreed that he would reach out to me when he figured out his schedule a little better. He was flying to Cleveland the next day to spend the week with his 11 year old son from his previous marriage and then he would go to Aspen for a couple days. He said we could go on another date, dinner this time, maybe in a week and a half. I told him I looked forward to it, and this time we hugged goodbye without awkwardness.

When I got home Tiff was eagerly waiting to hear every detail. In a silly way, I pretended to be all posh and I whipped out the $50 dollar bill waving it in the air. “Let’s talk about it over dinner. My Sugar Daddy is buying.” We laughed and decided to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. I told her every detail and she was shocked that he gave me money for just meeting him. I told her this wasn’t uncommon from what I read in my research and $50 bucks was actually below the norm for first dates. She asked if I would see him again, and I told her yes. During dinner, OG texted me to tell me he had a great time and looked forward to our next date. I immediately texted him back thanking him for the dinner and cash, and that I hope he has a safe trip to Cleveland.

Well that’s the story of my first date of many with POT’s. Success in my opinion. I didn’t get kidnapped, I got a free drink, and $50 bucks. Maybe the SB life wasn’t as dirty as I assumed. In my next posts, I describe other first dates, and the continuation of OG….

xoxo