Good morning! My friend from high school is coming into town tomorrow to visit so I really want to write a lot today. I realized that in all my posts, I never mentioned an important thing… I was and still am NOT interested in sugaring with married guys. I actually put a note in my SA’s profile that stated:
Please note, if you are married- I will not respond. I don’t condone cheating in any way even if its just a date. 🙂
Obviously, married guys still messaged me and I’m sure married guys lie and say they’re not married but up to this point in my timeline I believed all my POT’s were unmarried or divorced. This is irrelevant to this particular post, but I wanted to mention it anyway.
So after having my first Salt Daddy meetup (see previous post) I was eagerly waiting for OG to text me about planning our 2nd date. I figured he would be back in Aspen right now but he wasn’t responding to my text and I’m not one to triple text someone. I didn’t want to come off as desperate… However, one of my other long time POT’s was available to meet for lunch. I started actually texting him around the same time as OG, so I felt comfortable in meeting him. Let’s call him Mr. Boring… I feel bad for naming him this but I thought of it the other day and it just stuck. Mr. Boring was the oldest of my POTs, I wasn’t positive on his age but I was estimating him to be around late 50s or early 60s. I think he told me 59 but I’m not positive. Mr. Boring almost called it quits with me because we had been talking so long but our schedules never worked out to meet. I’ll be honest, nothing about Mr. Boring’s personality stood out to me (hence the name). He was very straight to the point in what he was looking for and honestly it was the simplicity and financial talk that kept me texting him. His original message to me on SA’s was this:
Afternoon to you…. Enjoyed reading your profile and it seems we would have more than a few things in common from the outset. I am looking for a very authentic and sincere young woman that is focused on her long term success and education and is willing to do what it takes to be a successful citizen, give back to society and take responsibility for their own success. I am very able and willing to help a very unique and special young woman with their entire living costs, school costs or whatever it takes to become successful long term if we have a high quality authentic relationship on a regular basis. No games. If you have the confidence to make this happen let me know and I would like to dialogue further with you to see what our compatibility would be together and what makes you a unique young woman. You would have to enjoy being with a very strong, driven, alpha male type of man! Let me know.
Mr. Boring wasn’t a big texter either and we talked on the phone a few days before meeting. He was an experienced SD, having 3 prior arrangements before. All lasting multiple years before the girls either moved away for careers or decided to pursue relationships with men their own age. He supported them through their entire school and living costs and he was very clear he would do so with me. His expectations? Two weekends a month. Once we went on a couple dates, we would have a trial “weekend” together in his house in Scottsdale where he would plan the activities, which he said would probably be: going to nice restaurants, going to a play or symphony, observatory, and shopping. I would also spend the night with him in his home and I wasn’t dumb to understand what this meant either. But he wasn’t looking to rush into anything, and he was very clear that he wanted to take it slow and go on a couple dates before we agreed to a weekend. We decided to meet for lunch and he picked out the restaurant, a fancy one in Scottsdale that I’ve never been to before. I was hungry and looked at the menu online before heading out.
Mr. Boring was there at a table waiting for me, dressed in nice slacks and a button down. He looked very professional, but old… I dressed up a little too with a fancier blouse and slacks. We shook hands and I sat down. I can’t even remember our whole conversation because it wasn’t that interesting. We talked about his job, which was a Medical Consultant for Pathology (diagnosis), and he was a M.D obviously. He was divorced for nearly 15 years and has been a SD since. He only has one relationship at a time (he expected me to do the same) and he assured me his prior SB’s all have successful lives now due to him supporting them through their education. He says they all still call him every now and then for advise and such. He was very proud of his SD experience and wasn’t shy to tell me that he even bought one of them a car, paid for four years tuition, rent, and gave them a hefty budget on food and clothes. He never mentioned an exact dollar sign though. He asked me how much I pay for rent and I told him $800, and he said he was surprised it was so low. I immediately regretted telling him (even though $800 is expensive to me) but I quickly added, “but with utilities, car payments, debt, etc- it’s more”…. He said of course and that if we agreed to an arrangement later on, we would work out a monthly allowance based on my financial needs. He ordered a margarita and I stuck to water. We shared a hummus garlic vegetable platter to eat. He was very curious to my future plans and I told him I was in limbo between moving to Portland or staying for graduate school. He said if I moved to Portland it wouldn’t be an issue, because he has a home in Seattle so he’s up that way all the time. He also mentioned after the trial “weekend” the majority of our two weekends a month together would be visiting different cities. He enjoyed traveling and we would leave Friday after work or class and stay Friday and Saturday night and come back Sunday. He asked which cities I’ve wanted to visit and I mentioned I loved New Orleans. He agreed and then talked about a luxurious weekend get away in the French Quarter that we could have.
So, Mr. Boring wasn’t bad, but in the back of my mind, I knew the only reason I wanted to continue was because of the money. He kept asking me if I had any questions for him, and I honestly didn’t (or at least that I didn’t want to ask him then). It seemed to annoy him that I didn’t have any questions but he laid out everything from how our arrangement would work, what he enjoyed doing, his life and career story, etc. I obviously was curious about when and how much money I could get and obviously I was curious about the intimacy… But both were inappropriate to ask at the time. We shook hands and said goodbye. He was leaving for a business trip to Seattle so we planned on dinner the following week.
I left lunch a little deflated. OG really set the bar high and I wish he texted me back. I felt a little bratty but I was annoyed that Mr. Boring didn’t give me any money for our date like OG did. A lot of the forums suggested that giving money on the first date was the norm, and if Mr. Boring was all big money talk like he mentioned, shouldn’t he have given me some money to let me know he was serious? I didn’t want to be taken advantage of financially because I was a sugar pup. I decided that once we worked out the budget I would tell him another POT offered me a grand a week so that’s what I expected. It felt dirty and wrong to negotiate. The poor man seemed like he just wanted company to dinners and such and here I was so consumed with the allowance amount. At least I had a week before I saw him again and it gave me more time to think.
Hope you all enjoyed the story with Mr. Boring! My next post is by far my most crazy and I’m a little scared to write about it but that means I probably need to get it off my chest.