Oh goodness. This post is an interesting one. Up until this point, my sugaring timeline was very innocent and even my salt daddy experience wasn’t even that weird. But there is another side to sugaring and that’s the intimacy. From what I’ve learned, SD’s and SB’s really don’t discuss the intimacy part at all. I think both parties want to pretend that when it does happen, it happens naturally, and not because it was expected (even if both know it really is). The SD wants to feel like he slept with her because she likes him and there’s a true connection. If he wanted a hooker, he could of got one and it would be a lot cheaper too. A SB is a long term commitment that is more expensive and is much more of a relationship. I’ve read blogs where some girls spent nearly a year with their SD before ever doing anything sexual with them. I think a lot of the men, for example like Mr. Boring, are really just lonely and want someone who adores them and listens to them. It’s a perfectly normal human desire in my opinion; to be wanted.
I’ll admit that I am physically attracted to older men. I think it would be pretty messed up if I decided to sugar if the idea of ever being with an older man completely repulsed me. I don’t know when I realized I like older guys, but there’s something exciting and thrilling about it to me. Also, college guys get on my nerves VERY quickly with their lack of maturity. I dated a boy my age for 3 years in college and the biggest issue I had with him was his lack of maturity and responsibility. Maybe that made older men to me even that much more attractive. I read a report somewhere that 70% of sugar babies admitted to having “daddy issues.” I think that statistic is a load of bull shit in my opinion. I have a great relationship with my father and my attraction to older men has nothing to do with my father at all.
So one of my POTs is not like any other. I think the first message he ever sent me on SA’s clearly shows what I am talking about:
Hi! You can call me daddy 😉 looking for the girl next door with a naughty side. How are you?
I know, I know. Out of all the messages, the nice POTs, why did I respond to this creepy guy? I guess I was curious. A long time ago, one of my good friends said to me, “There’s something about when something is so taboo, it makes it so good.” Maybe I had that in mind when I messaged him back. Me and (let’s call him Papi) chatted quite a bit on SA’s before he ever gave me his number. Papi was in his early 40s, blonde (but going bald), and had a total dad bod. He was actually really freaking nice but in a very flirty way. When I mentioned I just graduated he would text back “What a smart girl! Daddy wants to take you to the mall and let you pick out anything you want for your graduation gift!” When I told him I rescued a dog from the pound he said, “You’re such a little sweetie. Maybe you and Daddy can go to Pets Mart one day and you can pick out all the toys, beds, and treats that you want, and then we can go let you donate them all to the pound.” Papi wasn’t pushy either. He didn’t request additional photos, didn’t mind if I took forever to text, and NEVER suggested meeting up in person seriously (besides the “Daddy will take you shopping” comments). He was my ONLY POT that I had to be the one to ask him if he’d like to meet. He said yes and we picked out a day to have lunch. He suggested Tempe, which was closer to me, and he named a very popular restaurant that I had been to tons of times before. We also agreed to meet early in the day, at noon.
Before I tell you about our date, let me say that Papi told me that he had a SB before. He said he really liked her at first but she was too transactional for his taste and after a couple months, he ended it. What he meant by this was “she was all sex and no relationship.” He wanted to spoil her, take her places, dinners, gifts, vacations… she wanted only cash and immediately after they did it. She would go home right after and only reply to his messages when she was ready to do it again. Like I mentioned earlier, Papi wanted to be wanted….
I arrived to the restaurant and sat in my car. I was nervous. I practiced saying, “hi daddy” and “thank you daddy” out loud. It sounded weird. I obviously wasn’t going to call him daddy at the restaurant even if people did think we were actually father daughter, but I just wanted to see what it sounded like. He texted me saying he was waiting at the bar. I walked in and guess what I see? A GIRL FROM MY OLD SORORITY. Oh dear God, I knew this day would happen. I would run into someone I knew while sugaring. She saw me too and immediately jumped up and hugged me. I pretended to be excited too even though I was dying inside. I could see Papi staring at us from the bar. He knew it was me because I told him what I was wearing. He didn’t move. She asked me if I was alone. “No no, I’m actually meeting with a mentor from school to talk about my resume, jobs, and stuff.” I said. It was the first thing that came to mind and she didn’t even question it. She just said that’s so nice that I had a mentor like that, and then she hugged me and went back to her table with friends. I was pretty proud of myself to be honest. I confidently walked up to Papi and we hugged. He immediately apologized saying that he should of thought better than to pick a restaurant so close to me. I told him not to worry, and that I told her that he was my mentor. He laughed and said he liked that title. “Oh I’ll mentor you sweetie.” Suddenly, my confidence dropped and I couldn’t look him in the eye.
During the date I had some mimosas probably like 5 or 6. It was the most I drank ever during a POT date but I needed confidence. He had two Bloody Mary’s and we split a spinach artichoke dip. One day I’m going to write all about the food I’ve had during sugar dates hehe, it’s one of the best parts 😉 Maybe it was the mimosas in me but it was so easy to flirt with this man. There was never a dull moment in our conversation. He complimented me on either my looks, my intelligence, or my personality every few minutes. And he sounded genuine. I’ll admit, it made me feel really freaking good. He would say things like “Wow, how did I get so lucky to have such a beautiful and smart girl meet me.” He was extremely humble and a little dorky. He told me he used to play baseball in College and even got drafted to play for the Mariners in Seattle, he showed me all these pictures on his phone of him playing. He got injured and quit baseball and now holds a high level corporate job. When I mentioned I used to ride horses, he lit up. He grew up on a Thoroughbred breeding farm in Kentucky. He told me stories of his childhood watching the horses run. I honestly had so much fun talking to him. We both were obsessed with our dogs and showed each other numerous pictures. He owned an adorable black lab named Athos (after one of the 3 musketeers) Two of his close friends also each adopted another puppy from the same litter and named them after the other two musketeers. So stinkin cute.
Papi told me his friend introduced him to SA. He knew a couple other men on the site and sometimes they would have double dates and stuff. He made it sound completely normal and put me to ease. I didn’t even flinch when he put his hand on my thigh while talking sometimes. I wasn’t aware of anyone else staring. After about 2 hours, Papi said that he didn’t want to keep me long if I needed to go. He paid the bill and we stood up. Before he had time to say anything, I said “Actually, I’m in no rush. I have absolutely nothing to do today until dinner with my friends at 7 pm” (it was actually another POT date). It was only 2pm. He looked surprised. I surprised myself. Here, Papi was being all SD etiquette like, and my hoe ass hints that I want to hang out longer with him. But I did, I was having fun with him and I didn’t want it to end… He smiled and said “Well if you’d like we could go shopping for your graduation gift…. or you can come meet Athos.” I could tell he was very careful with his words. He didn’t want to spook me and I thought that was so kind. I could be sitting here typing on my new mac book pro laptop but instead I said I wanted to meet Athos. I knew exactly what I was doing. I pushed down the “what the hell are you thinking girl” thoughts. He was exciting to me and shopping seemed boring compared to going to his house.
He gave me his address and told me to meet him there. We drove separately and he beat me to it and was waiting in his driveway. It was a nice house, one story, but he was a single guy so it made sense to me. I walked in the living room with him to be greeted by Athos, who was just as sweet as Papi described. Papi again complimented me saying that he thought I was absolutely adorable and that Athos agreed. I was feeling myself and I went for it, I said “Thanks daddy.” And that was it. I stood up from petting Athos, and Papi gently cupped my face and kissed me. “You’re such a good little girl for daddy” He said. Oh man was that hot. He gave me the tour to his house all the while Athos followed, happily wagging his tail. He showed me photos of his family’s beautiful horses draped in roses after winning a race. He was in every photo with them, a cute little blonde child, proudly standing between his mother and father and the horse at the winner’s circle. He showed me his Mariner’s jersey which he had framed in his office, his collection of antique novels, and framed photos of Athos and the other Musketeers with their owners. He showed me his bedroom where he kissed me again, this time a little longer. And then we were back to his living room. We sat on the couch together and he said “Do you prefer Venmo or Paypal? I wanted to give you money after our date but when I suggested you come here, I didn’t want you to think I was bribing you.” Woah. This felt weird. I forgot about the whole money thing, where as with Mr. Boring, that’s all I could think about. I told him either works. A second later my phone binged and I looked to see $100 deposited into my Paypal with a note that said “From Mentor to Mentee ;)”. I told him thank you and I kissed him. He smiled and said he was going to take care of me. “Daddy will pay off your debt and spoil you with whatever you want sweetie.” We started making out. After a few minutes he looked at me almost like he was about to scold me, “Now we aren’t going to have sex today sweetie. Daddy wants to take it slow with his little girl. Don’t be naughty.” Oh my god, he thought I was trying to sleep with him. Was I? Or was this code in the whole daddy daughter role play that he wanted me to be naughty? I didn’t know. I pouted my lips and said “OK daddy.” He smiled and kissed me again, hard this time. Things escalated and soon my top, shorts, and bra were off. I was only in my underwear. He asked me to stand up. He sat on the couch and just admired every inch of me, having me turn around so he could dote over every part of my body. He made me feel so sexy. Any guy reading this, if you stop mid hookup to admire your girl, God damn is this hot. I never had a college guy treat me such like a princess- I really felt beautiful. College guys never want to take it slow, especially when they have a girl in just her underwear. I went down on him and the entire time he was saying some really kinky ass shit (but it was hot as hell). Afterwards, he praised me again and we kind of cuddled on the couch. My underwear never came off and he really stood by his word about not having sex. After a few minutes, I told him I should go get ready for dinner. He told me that our next date would be dinner and shopping and we could go to Pets Mart too if I wanted.
I left his home still feeling so much adrenaline. When the adrenaline washed off, the rush of guilt came. It hit me hard. It reminded me of period cramps, where one moment I felt fine and then suddenly it would hit me… It felt physical. Papi texted me telling me he had an amazing time and he hoped I had a nice evening with friends. He was a nice man, everything that had happened was because I chose it. I didn’t feel angry at him or disgusted with him. I texted the other POT that I was supposed to have dinner with, canceling on him. He said he understood and to text him if I changed my mind.
That night I hung out with friends instead. It made me feel so much better. I felt normal again to just laugh with them. They didn’t know about my sugaring so I got to escape the guilt for the night. It was this night I asked my friend about handling guilt, and he gave me the advice that inspired this blog. I’m still not caught up on my timeline because I went on more dates as the first few posts were written. The guilt with Papi mostly faded and I found myself fantasizing over him soon. Every now and then I still get a flash of guilt, but I still text him. I was actually supposed to meet him again today for shopping but I forgot I had to attend a high school graduation so I had to cancel.
Well, there it is. Probably my craziest experience yet, even though I still have some more interesting stories for y’all and I’m sure more will come (especially with Papi) Talk soon.